Before you put your blinkers on and start riding on your mind horses berserk, let me clarify, this post has nothing to do with the size of your, my or anyone’s assets. I am talking about those menaces flying inside my house. The ones that have earned me the name of psycho! Those who have read my post Tagged are well aware of the blood sucking relationship I share with these sharp willed, razor tongued mosquitoes who probably by the day sit together and scheme against me.
As soon as the entrance opens, they come swarming in like an army waiting to invade and before I know, they have taken their positions. I am sure, the moment I leave the kitchen after finishing the morning ritual, they start rubbing their rusted nozzles against my knives to be ready for the rave night of drinking and binging(on my blood)
As the night falls, life is all happy go lucky for them as they can see a full bottle of blood red wine right in front of them. Only, it does not have just one opening; they can put their straw anywhere and enjoy. Not to waste a moment to begin their drunken night, they start jumping around my toes, I start jumping to avoid them and my neighbors thinking, One crazy lady she is. Come kids let’s watch the show. It’s time for Aunty to make chapattis! And giggles fill their house. Needless to say, I live in an apartment where my kitchen window overlooks ten others.
I cannot tolerate even a nudge at that moment when I am totally lost in the soap as if Richard Castle and Kate are investigating my murder, assimilating all the leads, and here they come to prick me everywhere they can fathom. That one occasional newbie with a way too sharp tongue slurps and pins me down. He does a very convincing disappearing act too. Switch off the lights and he is at it again turning everything into scratching madness.
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending a night in a closed room with a mosquito”. Whoever said that must be a weary soul with no sprays and repellants to rescue him or her. I don’t take a chance. So if you are looking for me by the day, I can be found under the table planning a secret ambush to destroy the colony of my bitter enemies (if they have one). And if you are finding me by the night, I am this woman firing mosquito spray non-stop all around the house, even at neighbors’ and yelling – Hooray, another one down.