I have been brought up on a generous dose of Spiderman and He-man since the Doordarshan days. Then, it was the cartoon on Saturday evening and Sunday morning that I never missed and when I grew up, it was the movie franchise where Tobey Maguire aka Peter Parker, innocent yet agile, climbed the Empire state building, romped the streets and kissed his lady love upside down. But I have regret. Let me admit it. No matter how hard I try to imagine, Spiderman and all other superheroes have always been white.
But it seems after all these years India has finally found an answer to these swift heart snatchers. What, you think I am joking? Watch ‘Ek Tha Tiger’ and you will have no doubt left in your mind. Our very own Sal ‘man’ is giving tough competition to the Spider ‘man’ and Super ‘man’. Mind you I am not Salman Khan fan but I gasped as he plunged and resurrected, moved from one building to another with implausible jumps and swayed true Spiderman style with no strain on his face as if he had just finished a leisurely cup of tea on his terrace. The only difference – there were no cobwebs coming out of his hands to help him. Heck, who needs those when someone has as strong biceps as Sal ‘man’. After all, who cares about the logic, at least in his movies when shirt rips apart all by itself and his one kick makes the goons splutter in all directions like specks of dust.
Did I mention he even stopped a speeding tram with just his blazer? All he had to do was get on top of the tram and twirl his blazer around the wires guiding the uncontrolled beast and it came to a halt. Miracle! He then in his swaggering style wore the blazer again and voila, it was not even torn. Even the blazer has same super powers as our ‘Bhai’. Oh man, was I compelled to whistle! Well, almost.
The real RAW agents must have got inflated chests watching him and as a matter of fact her (Kat mimicking catwoman) too operating everything from cycles to airplanes without even blinking an eye. The only emotion on Kat’s face at the helm of the plane was of leaving Sallu behind who was desperately trying to catch the moving plane. No need to mention he sped his motorbike as soon as the plane took off; then jumped defying the gravity and again his biceps came to the rescue. Ah! love and all those protein shakes. Is RAW inspired?
If Kat and Salman are made to wear tight bodysuits and the rest remains the same, this can easily pass of as a superhero movie. I wonder why makers didn’t think of it. Wait, I know the answer. They would have to define the logic behind the superpowers they both had. But if it is Salman Khan movie- logic be damned, loopholes be plenty – it is the whistles from the audience that covers it all up.
So next time I will have a vision of Peter Parker rescuing a gullible target, I am sure I will be seeing Sal ‘man’ and Spider ‘man’ fighting to be the savior. Any guesses who will win?